Tales

What do you get when you stuff 5 reggae musicians, a whole heap of instruments, and 4 drunk girls in a white fifteen passenger van?

My next story.

I was playing once again in Denver with Danny Dread and Rising Lion. We just finished a gig and were driving back to the hotel. Were acquired some (click!) —–> travel companions and were headed back to rest up.

As we trudged down the road I began to notice ( but not care ) that the conversation was getting louder and louder. It was like a party where everyone knows and loves each other.

… and are drunk as vikings.

Although the driver was fine, we were all busted up, but too hammered to care. We are all checking out the girls, laughing and enjoying the fact that we just got paid. The fact that we were going to a hotel with our new friends was a big bonus.

I think after the third cop car was passed, we were loud as ever. Stuff was falling and people were flopping all over the place. Just before it got outta control, Lion, our bass players yells out in his trademark southern accent…

“WE ALL GOIN’ TO JAIL TONIGHT!”

The van got dead silent. We all looked at each other and realized how loud we had truly become. Then broke out in a thunder of laughter.

We did not go to jail, and the rest of the night was interesting… to say the least. I think there were cuffs involved, though

I loved traveling across the states with different bands. There was always something new to see, someone new to meet, and great vibes to spread.

Because we were to close to Colorado, a lot of bands I played with from California would do mini tours into the mountains and across that enormous state. It was always a gas, and the breathtaking beauty and size of the Rockies was always a source of spiritual refreshment.

It was a cold December evening, and I was the assigned driver for Ishmael and the Peacemakers. We usually drive in four hour shifts or so, and it was my turn.

We were running a couple of hours behind schedule and we were quickly approaching a very big mountain. Here was our dilemma:

• If we took the main highway around the mountain, it would take us 4 hours or so.
• If we took the pas that went UP and over the mountain, it would take us about 2.
• We were LATE.

After a vote, we decided to take the pass… how bad could it be, right?

We started up the side of the mountain, and most of the band started falling asleep.  It was just me and the Israel Vibration Dub album that I loved so much. This is a seriously deep and hypnotic album, with no vocals. There is something quite magical and ethereal about it – I can’t really explain.

After about 20 minutes or so, it pleasantly began to snow.  This was beautiful, of course, and since we were in the Rockies, it was to be expected. Everyone was asleep by now and the snow was very light.

About 15 minutes later, the snow thickened considerably and a funny thought crossed my mind… what if it keeps snowing and we get stuck on this mountain?  There is nothing for miles around and nobody uses this road….hahahaha…. we could freeze to death….hahahaha….gulp…  I drove on with Israel slowly churning in the background.

I decided to finally slow the van to a stop and assess what the road felt like. Everyone still asleep, I crept out of the van and walked out into the snow.  My foot sank into the powder immediately, and I could see that about an inch and a half had already accumulated and was a clean blanket across the entire road. This was not cool.

I then looked to my left and there was nothing but pine trees going almost straight up as far as I could see.  I then walked to the right of the van and it was a sheer drop into complete blackness… with no guardrail.  Things were getting very bad, very quickly. We were now in a blizzard.

Shaking, I got back into the van and decided to just drive…. I drove through almost no visibility as the white rain continued to buffet and shake the van. I hadn’t seen another vehicle on the road for hours.

I was sweating and praying the entire time. The only thing that kept me centered was Israel Vibration reassuring chants in my ears.

I drove for what seemed an eternity, not knowing if we would live through the storm…

The next thing I remember is stepping out of the van into the most beautiful and clear night I have ever seen. There were thousands of brilliant stars in the sky. And best of all, we weren’t dead.

We apparently passed completely through the storm and made it to the other side of the enormous mountain. The guys in the van had no idea how close to death we had come, and that Israel Vibration and JAH had kept our ship steady.

Most of of the bands I’ve been a part of were made up of some pretty cool dudes. To this day, I keep in touch with a lot of the guys from back west, and consider them good friends.

But as with any situation, there is always going to be an asshole.

If you are reading this and are a dude…don’t ever be THAT guy.

Nigerian Coat of Arms

I did a mini tour with a guy by the name of Victor Essiet. And he would prove to be one of the biggest punk-asses I ever knew.

Victor was really big in Nigeria. His band was called Victor Essiet and the Mandators, and they had a pretty good run as a reggae/world beat band for a while.

We were doing a little tour of Texas and we all basically were crammed in to one van.  It was myself, three other guys from San Diego, Victor and his girlfriend who he just had to bring along. (yeah, I know)

I think we were in Dallas, but for the first couple of days, Victor and his girlfriend would have these little argument skirmishes here and there.  It was annoying, but we dealt with it.  After all, we were there to get paid and go home.

We were in Dallas, parked at a gas station, and I was half asleep. Of course, Victor and his girlfriend started arguing again, which was getting commonplace now.

But something startled me, and was not typical of their other arguments.

I was half sleeping in the back seat when I hear the sound of a wet brick hitting a slab of meat… CRACKAP!

…oh snap,  someone just got punched in the head.  I know that sound all too well.

I woke up to see him punch her in the face and then he dragged her out of the car.

So we, the band, surrounded him and gave him little talking to, which was basically…

“If you hit her again, we are hitting you, taking your van, as well as your girlfriend and leaving YOU here…in Texas.”

It’s amazing what a little coaxing will do.

I don’t believe in apparitions, ghosts, demons or any of the little nasties that are used by snake oil salesmen to scare us into following their twisted ways of thinking… Sorry, without people to scare to death, these men would be quite powerless.

Some of these superstitions are pure insanity:

Here are some beauties:

• Aliens are actually demons in disguise
• Black people are devils
• White people are devils
• Jews eat children (yes…EAT children)
• Russians eat their own young ( yes, someone actually told me this once )
• ( And my favorite! ) Mickey Mouse must be executed…rofl

Yes, people, you have heard it right….Mickey Mouse must die.

These are all very entertaining examples of how paranoid the human mind can be.

I’ll never forget the time I was traveling with Ishmael in Denver, Colorado. Our hotel was in a shady part of town, and we were packing up in the morning to drive to the next town.

As we stood in the parking lot, my companion Bunny Mystic was talking to me when we saw a woman walking in the parking lot towards us.

Well, “walking” doesn’t quite describe it. She was shambling towards us. Her uneven ‘fro had traces of what looked like straw and cardboard in it. And she had the most nasty cracked white lips.

It was a zombie.

“Ronnie,” Bunny whispered to me, “It’s a duppy..”. Bunny looked kinda scared, and I knew what a duppy was because he told me a few nights before.

At this point, I was getting a little scared.

We went around the other side of the van to lose sight of her.  Waited a few moments…Then as we came around the other side, she was already in the balcony above us!

As she stared down at us, we freaked out, hopped in the van, and drove off like two hungover bats outta hell.

Now I ask you….  Did we indeed see a duppy?  Or were our minds ( freshly tainted with ghost stories ) fill in all the horrific blanks for us?

Whatever the case, it was funny as hell.

When I lived in San Dawg (San Diego),  I played in a band that would back up artists that came to town.

Basically, if an artist came to town, they would want to play a few gigs and make some money. They would not have their own band, so they would hire a band (us) to learn their stuff. We would play a few gigs, collect the bread, and part our merry ways.

One of my favorite singers was Ras Shiloh. He had an incredible voice and was very deep and a true Rastafarian. When he walked into any room, it lit up.

Ras Shiloh, the man

When Rash Shiloh came to town, he also brought two guys with him. They were his close friends and mini entourage.

I forget their names, but I will never forget this bottle of tonic/mystic fluid they drank called TIGER BONE. I have no idea what tiger bone really was, but within one day of them flying in, they were able to find a bottle for around $50.00 and carry it around with them wherever they went.

Finally, one day right before the show I was approached by one of Shiloh’s friends.

“Aye Ronnie! Try dis ‘ere Tiger Bone. It will make you play drums like de ras claaaat! You will lick down Babylon!”

Well, if you put it that way – how could I refuse?

I drank two very small ( less than a shot ) sips of tiger bone. It burned my stomach like pure molten lead. This stuff tasted like every root and herb on earth combined and fermented over 500 years.

With my eyes watering and my stomach about to turn inside out, I sat behind the drums.  I then had one of the best gigs of my life.

I don’t know if it was the placebo effect, but man, I was charged up and played like an animal… I was hooked on tiger bone.

I was able to find a bottle of tiger bone in San Diego a month later, but since then I have had no luck finding it at all.

If anyone knows where I can find this on the east coast, please tell me.  I have been looking for years.

UPDATE – I found this video on YouTube.  It’s a bunch of guys drinking Tiger Bone.  That is the exact bottle tube and bottle that I bought!  Watch the guys reactions when they drink it!